Best Digital Fiction of the Year

THE JESUS FISH AND SLAUGHTER BIRD by Clark Casey, available here on Kindle, iPads, and mobile devices from No DEAD TREES Press (also on desktops computers with the free Kindle viewing app). 60 pages, $2.99

An epic novella about four twenty-something lost souls who meet in a bar in Manhattan in the early 1980s. The rollicking narrative follows them for 20 years of their turbulent (and often funny) lives into the turn of the century. The cast includes an aspiring musician/artist and hypochondriac desperately trying to rid himself of his native Queens accent, a racist pool hustler who falls for a Chinese girl, a well-endowed shy girl in search of true love, and a pretty girl with abandonment issues and a dream of becoming a “florologist.” A comedic tour de force by an up-and-coming satirist. Casey’s quick-flowing and punchy prose captures the absurdity of a generation.

Beer Baron Strikes Again

A second young woman has died in the company of former Anheuser-Busch Chief Executive August Busch IV. Adrienne N. Martin, 27-year-old art therapist and aspiring model, was found dead of an apparent overdose in Busch's St. Louis home. Busch, 46, had been dating Martin for a year after his divorce in 2009.

In 1983, Busch picked up a 22-year-old University of Arizona student at a bar. His corvette crashed and she died at the scene. Busch was found in his home hours later, stunned and bloodied with a then legal blood alcohol level. He claimed amnesia and no charges were filed.

The Gentrification of Brooklyn

The New York Times reports that "the share of white residents rose sharply in brownstone Brooklyn neighborhoods like Prospect Heights (to 45% from 28% in 2000) and Fort Greene (to 26% from 14%), as well as Williamsburg."

The neighborhoods of Prospect Heights, Clinton Hill and Fort Greene saw double-digit decreases in black people. With all the new shiny condo construction in Williamsburg, the Hispanic population decreased from 40% to 30%.

In their nifty color-coated interactive map of the Census Bureau's data, it appears that whites live in Manhattan and part of Brooklyn, blacks live in the rest of Brooklyn, Hispanics live in the Bronx, and Queens is the melting pot of everyone who wandered away from the airports.

Where They Are Now Links

• Gay plague cured 30 years later, Magic never worried

• Politicians richest people in country; Native Americans (who they took it from 200 years ago) the poorest

• Twisted Sister singer commutes 3 hours a day for low-paying theater gig to avoid admin work

When You Put It That Way, It's Completely Logical

Intelligent people are more likely to binge drink.

Cleanliness is linked to depression.

Therefore, sloppy drunks should be smart and happy people.

Batshit Woman of the Year

Charges: intentional disfigurement or mutilation

Sequence of events:

1. While sitting on the toilet, she kissed her husband goodnight.

2. In a fit of mania, she grabbed him by the testicles and bit into his his tongue, partially severing it.

3. When police arrived, she was "carrying a New Year’s horn in her hand and singing Christmas carols.”

4. She blew the horn in the officers' ears and then threw coffee on them.

5. She did not speak during her court appearance, but on the way out leaned over to a reporter and said, “I love you, it’s too bad you don’t listen.”

Bet that reporter wishes he had been assigned to cover the dog show instead.

Lascivious Links

• New York Times reporter has whiny overachiever friends who date lazy men in Europe.

• Courts now paying for male criminals' makeup. Dress and pumps stipends coming soon.

• Old British ladies just as slutty as young British ladies, but more likely to give you the clap.

• Old American men complain about lack of sex just like young men. They should move to England.

Blogposts About the Most Searched Internet Terms More Likely to Turn Up in Internet Searches

Yahoo's list of most searched terms of 2010 reveals a lot about us. For instance, we like soccer, natural disasters, girls who can sing and have big butts, and boys who can sing and look like girls.

1. The Gulf of Mexico oil disaster
2. The World Cup soccer tournament
3. Pop singer Miley Cyrus
4. Reality TV star Kim Kardashian
5. Singer Lady Gaga
6. Apple's iPhone
7. Actress Megan Fox
8. Singer Justin Bieber
9. "American Idol"
10. Singer Britney Spears

These lists may some day provide our ancestors with insight into the 21st century mind. If there had been an internet 100 years ago (instead of boring old encyclopedias), what might the most searched terms have been?

1. Halley's comet, end of earth

2. Wright brothers first commercial flight

3. Jack Johnson (first black boxer to win the title, sparked race riots)

4. Irving Berlin

5. Where to buy a model T Ford or horseless carriage

6. jobs available at Triangle Shirtwaist Factory

7. How to book tickets on the Titanic

The rest of the searches would likely be the names of popular Ziegfeld dancers.