Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Batshit Woman of the Year

Charges: intentional disfigurement or mutilation

Sequence of events:

1. While sitting on the toilet, she kissed her husband goodnight.

2. In a fit of mania, she grabbed him by the testicles and bit into his his tongue, partially severing it.

3. When police arrived, she was "carrying a New Year’s horn in her hand and singing Christmas carols.”

4. She blew the horn in the officers' ears and then threw coffee on them.

5. She did not speak during her court appearance, but on the way out leaned over to a reporter and said, “I love you, it’s too bad you don’t listen.”

Bet that reporter wishes he had been assigned to cover the dog show instead.

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