An 82-year-old Indian man has discovered a way to avoid the monotony of a 9 to 5 job, by simply not eating. Prahlad Jani of Gujarat claims to have not consumed food or water for 70 years, surviving solely on a "spiritual life-force."
Scientists have now been monitoring Jani for 6 days to substantiate the claim and he shows no sign of hunger or dehydration. If proven valid, the spiritual life-force could have a devastating impact on the global workforce. Since the dawn of civilization, the upper classes have, in some form or another, been using the threat of starvation to motivate the means of production to do their bidding.
"I thought I needed to eat," one worker remarked on hearing of Jani's feat. "If I'd known it was possible to go without, I'd have just stayed in bed all day."
When asked how they would ensure stability in production, one anonymous corporate officer said, "They still need shelter and health insurance, don't they? If they figure out a way to do without them, we'll have to go back to the old way of getting the masses to work: beat them."
Jani's ability was previously studied when it came to light in 2003. A team of doctors monitored him for 10 days and concluded that he had not consumed or exuded anything. Why people have still continued to show up at their jobs since then is not known. Aggressive corporate marketing campaigns are one likely culprit. Others point the finger at simple human greed.