Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Phil Collins Can't Play Drums/Wipe Own Ass Anymore

The "easy lover" of the 80s and reclusive thrice-divorced populizer of the widow's peak gave a rare interview from his home in Switzerland. A back injury has left him unable to play the drums or wipe his own bum, but Collins fills his time caring for his sons, contemplating suicide, and looking over pictures of aliens that he took in Texas.

"I sometimes think I'm going to write this Phil Collins character out of the story," the singer cryptically remarked. "Phil Collins will just disappear or be murdered in some hotel bedroom, and people will say, 'What happened to Phil?' And the answer will be, 'He got murdered, but, yeah, anyway, let's carry on.' That kind of thing."

"I wouldn't blow my head off," he says later. "I'd overdose or do something that didn't hurt. But I wouldn't do that to the children. A comedian who committed suicide in the sixties left a note saying,'Too many things went wrong too often.' I often think about that."

Good to know the composer of some of the most popular wedding songs of the 80s is still continuing to spread joy to the world.

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