Thursday, October 7, 2010

Smoking/Polygamy Improves Life Expectancy of Chimps/Africans

Charlie, the famous smoking chimpanzee, died at the ripe old age of 52, which is 10 years longer than the average chimpanzee life expectancy. Charlie first began smoking when zoo visitors threw him lit cigarettes. Not to be outdone, a Russian chimp was recently sent to rehap for pestering visitors for alcohol and cigarettes.

In unrelated news, a Kenyan man in his 90s died, leaving behind over 100 wives. He was nicknamed "Danger" for his charismatic ways with the ladies. Danger Akuku had nearly 160 children and 30 ex-wives. There was no mention of whether the courts ever ordered him to pay alimony or just let him off with applause and a round high-fives.

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