Just Another Brooklyn Blog

Cheapest Dinner for 3 in Brooklyn

2012-01-25T10:24:00.000-08:00

Tuesdays are 2-for-1 pizza night at Caselnova's on Columbia Street. For $14 you can get two pies that are shareable among 3 people. We recommend the fried eggplant and ricotta, the prosciutto, arugula, and roasted garlic, or if you're in the mood for a rich white cheese pizza the sausage, roasted potato, rosemary, and fresh mozzarella. Large carafes of a very drinkable house red are only $22. Where else can you get a sit-down meal with wine for $13 a head? If you're hungry you might want to splurge for the fried calamari.

Dog Seeks Shelter From the Snow

2012-01-21T08:50:00.000-08:00

News of Great Import

2012-01-06T07:56:00.000-08:00

Gift Ideas for the Sophisticated Hillbilly

2011-12-20T09:44:00.000-08:00

Add a stem to the moonshine jar and you have a redneck wine glass.

Is Saudi Arabia the New Salem?

2011-12-13T08:13:00.000-08:00

A Saudi woman was beheaded for "sorcery and witchcraft" in the Qariyat province of the region of Al-Jawf.

Apparently the soon-to-be nuclear nation and holder of the second largest oil reserves in the world thinks Harry Potter is non-fiction. At least they like us though.

The Singing Cabdriver

2011-12-12T14:12:00.000-08:00

We were catching a cab to Dyker Heights one Saturday morning and happened to get into this guy's car. He pulled out a wireless microphone, flipped on some sort of karaoke machine, and serenaded us with Italian love songs on the BQE. It was the oddest cab ride of our lives, but kept us smiling for the rest of the day, and of course it earned him a nice tip. We imagine he does pretty well shuttling tourists from the airport and singing New York, New York. Though as the sticker on the roof reminds us, "Driver carries no cash. He's Married."

Best Pork Chop in Brooklyn

2011-12-10T19:19:00.001-08:00

Two Toms Restaurant on 3rd Avenue (between Union and President) definitely takes the prize for most abundant portions, and when you fight your way through the necessary gristle you'll be awarded with some of the most tender pork in the the city. For $16 they serve a fine Herculean t-bone decorated with a roasted pepper and bathing in its abundant juices. It comes with a choice of pasta, broccoli, or salad. Other crowd pleasers include the eggplant rollatini, a humongous splayed chicken parmigiana, and vegetables soaking in olive oil and garlic.

Two Toms has been in operation since 1948, catering mostly to the oldest of locals, firemen, and employees of the nearby South Brooklyn Casket Company. The wood-paneled room will please enthusiasts of old-school throwbacks (you can't find anything more authentic outside of a 70s mob movie), and for the thirsty there is nothing finer in a sit-down establishment than the ability to walk over to a refrigerator and grab yourself a beer or a carafe of chilled wine ($20) instead of waiting for a waiter to fetch it. Some things of changed over the years though. I'm told the most recent addition to the eatery is menus. The only question is, when Gowanus becomes the new Williamsburg will places like this, that actually make the neighborhood interesting, still survive?

Title Me

2011-12-01T17:40:00.001-08:00

1. Unanswered Prayers?
2. Church Leaks God Juice?
3. Sunset in Carroll Cardens?

It Could Be A Lot Worse

2011-11-29T17:55:00.001-08:00

A snowstorm from last winter. Enjoy the 70-degree weather in late November while it lasts.

Sadie's Kitchen Opening Nov 14

2011-11-06T13:02:00.000-08:00

There's a sign on the door saying opening ~~soon~~ Nov 14 at Sadie's Kitchen on Degraw Street in the old Chicory spot, briefly occupied by Ultimate Burgers and Dogs. It looks like a tricked out 50s diner with bright tiles, a neon-lit clock, and red stools. The decor seems like they are trying to follow the success of Pharmacy, though we're not sure how many soda shops the neighborhood can support. The space isn't big enough to do much sit-down business, so hopefully their southern style takeout food will be good enough to overcome the curse on the spot.

Brooklyn Nets Tickets on Sale

2011-11-06T12:25:00.001-08:00

Things may not be what they used to be, but at least graffiti has gotten more amusing

2011-10-26T17:22:00.000-07:00

Invisible Dog Gallery Presents Interesting Assortment of Steampunk-like Objects

2011-10-22T08:45:00.000-07:00

We're usually bored stiff at galleries, but the Invisible Dog Art Center at 51 Bergen Street in Boerum Hill is showing an intriguing collection. It looks more like an altered antique shop than a gallery with steel Buddhas set in from of static TVs, mannequins in gas masks, and a pictures of Indians holding a superimposed bottle of Chanel perfume. The pieces are laden with messages, often comical. Among the groupings of flight goggle-wearing doll heads, it's difficult to determine which is a piece, but the theme typically relates to corporate greed permeating all aspects of life and art. Regardless of your politics, it's a marvelous assortment of poignantly arranged objects.

340 Court Street Reaches 4th Floor

2011-10-07T09:07:00.000-07:00

The former Clarrett Group development on the corner of Court and Union, where an International Longshoremen's Association building once stood, is now moving along quickly after being stalled for some years. The beams for a fourth story can be seen with a worker balancing on top. Neighbors are probably bracing themselves to see what the monstrosity will look like. The new developer's model has been lightened from the previous one after complaints. The shiny floor-to-ceiling windows hovering high above the brownstones certainly clash with the rest of the block, but many will welcome the sight after staring at a pit behind a blue fence for so long.

The Flying Lobster Wine Bar Has Soft Opening

2011-09-27T19:47:00.000-07:00

Petite Crevette owner Neil Ganic has opened a wine bar beside his popular restaurant on the corner of Union and Hicks in the old Coffee Den space.

The bar will offer customers waiting for tables a place to sit and have a drink, though Petite Crevette will still remain BYOB. The wine bar's name is a joking reference to the infamous "lobster incident" in which a patron doubted the freshness of his food. The fiery Yugoslavian reportedly dug out a live lobster and slammed it on the table yelling, "You don't think my fish is fresh. Look how fresh this is!"

The Flying Lobster has been painted a cozy red and decorated with old world knickknacks. There's also a nice picture window to watch the foot traffic crossing the BQE as you wait for a table to have arguably the best salmon burger in Brooklyn.

Wines start at $7 and there's a decent selection of bottled beers. Tapas will come shortly and the occasional live band.

Netflix Names New Division After Twitter Handle of Stoner Adolescent

2011-09-19T12:07:00.000-07:00

In what should be an interesting David vs. Goliath match, Netflix renamed their DVD mail service Qwikster before checking to see who had the twitter handle. It's currently used by Jason Castillo, a video-gaming pot enthusiast and reluctant student of English. How long do you think it will be before they bully or bribe the handle from the kid? He has nearly 2,000 followers. Here's a sample of some recent tweets:

@Qwikster
Bored as shyt wanna blaze but at the same time I don't ugh fuck it where's the bowl at spark me up lls

@Qwikster
Don't bother telling me who my ex is now dating ! Cuzz now I feel bad for the bitch that has my sloppy seconds :)

@Qwikster
I'm about hungry as shyt but my dad doesn't want to buy me food lik wtf

@Qwikster
english about boring as shyt tryin to go to soccer already

Live Jazz Brunch at Lilla Cafe This Sunday

2011-09-16T07:59:00.000-07:00

If you eant to hear some jazz during brunch and don't feel like hiking up to Bar Tabac and waiting for a table, Cafe Lilla will host a live band this Sunday. Hopefully it'll be a running gig. The egg sandwiches are pretty spectacular as is the spaghetti carbnonara. The fresh artisinal bread samples are nice bonus, too. It also may be one of the last weekends to eat in their garden before the cold weather sets in.

Lilla Cafe
126 Union St, Brooklyn
(Btwn Hicks & Columbia St)

Woman Assaulted on F Train, Bystanders Say Nothing, Cops Do Little

2011-09-13T18:59:00.000-07:00

At 5:30 pm on a Brooklyn-bound F train, between the Bergen and Carroll St. stops, an African-American girl (16-18 years of age, about 5'6") nudged her way through a crowded car. She pushed against the back of a female Carroll Gardens resident (and neighbor of this blogger). The woman (5'3", Caucasian, late 30s) tried her best to make room for the youth. Unhappy with the amount of space she was given, the youth she began yelling, "I asked you to get out of my way. I will beat your ass!" The woman remained silent as the youth berated her. Then the youth swiped her fingers across the woman's face. The youth walked away but came back and hit the woman twice on the head with an open palm. She then stood at the subway doors and continued calling the woman names until the train stopped and got off at Carroll St. It happened to be the woman's stop as well, so she followed cautiously, watching the youth go into Carroll Gardens Park. The woman then proceeded to the 76th precinct on Union Street and told the desk officer of the assault. She explained that she didn't want anyone else to be assaulted in the park and requested that they send an officer there. The desk officer said they could write a report but it would take at least a half hour. The woman was upset and had to meet someone who was leaving shortly on flight, so she left.

Color Pics of New York 1941

2011-09-13T11:39:00.000-07:00

Lower East Side Corner of Broome St. and Baruch Pl., 1941.

Stores near the corner of Broome St. and Baruch Pl., 1941

Old Fulton Street Market, 1941

9/11 Beams of Light and an Empty Bedroom in Brooklyn

2011-09-11T17:46:00.001-07:00

pre-9/11 Fireworks Scare the Shit Out of Brooklynites

2011-09-10T19:48:00.000-07:00

Columbia Street Fair Wakes Hungover Residents, Compensates with Fried Foods

2011-09-10T19:07:00.000-07:00

Graffiti Art Criticizing Israeli Occuption Brought to America so Rich Hamptonites Can Drink Wine in Front of It

2011-09-02T09:21:00.000-07:00

It takes a lot of money (and balls) to chisel out a 2-ton piece of street art that clearly comments on who is innocent and who is guilty in the Israeli stoops' illegal (per Resolution 446) occupation of the West Bank, and then to bring it to the one country that continually vetos all further UN resolutions against the occupation. But hey, the butcher who owned the building got a few shekels for his wall, though probably no where near the $450,000 it is going for this week in Southampton.

Representatives for Banksy (the British artist who made the pieces on view at the Keszler Gallery) have not authorized the showing, nor confirmed that any of the pieces are authentic.

Irene Hits Pierced Vagina Tree

2011-08-31T08:13:00.000-07:00

Strong winds struck McCarren Park where many a stoned hipster has looked up from the grass and said, "Hey, that tree looks like a vagina." The storm has taken a great conversation piece as she was known to don a labial piercing when she was feeling naughty. Luckily, park goers can still remark on the abundance of human feces near the sprinklers.

The Calm Before the Storm

2011-08-26T15:59:00.000-07:00

Clear sunny skies as Battery Park City residents scramble for higher ground under mandatory evacuation for Hurricane Irene.

Brooklynites hogtie their patio furniture so it won't blow away on the fringe of the evacuation zone near the waterfront.

Only in Lufkin, Texas

2011-08-25T12:21:00.000-07:00

While having a contest to see who could hold their breath longer in a creek, a homeless man "accidentally held the woman's head under water too long. He then allegedly dragged her body to a nearby mattress, drank some beer and fell asleep next to her."

Overseas Titles for the Sitcom "Diff'rent Strokes"

2011-08-24T14:22:00.000-07:00

Spain: "Arnold"
Venezuela: "Arnold the Mischievous One"
Argentina: "Black and White"
Italy "Harlem v. Manhattan"
Brazil: "My Family is a Mess"
Japan: "Little Boy Arnold is Popular"
Thailand: "The Funny Midget"

Sacred Hearts & St. Stephen Church on Summit Street

2011-08-24T12:38:00.000-07:00

Trailer Park on the Brooklyn Waterfront

2011-08-20T13:51:00.000-07:00

For at least a month now, there has been an inconspicuous little trailer parked at the end of Union Street on Van Brunt across the street from WORK gallery. The door is cropped open and there's a small Parks Department sign inside. Square skylights have been cut into the roof to let rain water in. Yes, you can go inside. It is a portable public park. It was designed as an art piece by Kim Hollerman and has been on display at various locations since 2006. There are two benches inside and two stone planters filled with low light foliage. Have a seat and enjoy the odd delight of something you probably never imagined seeing in South Brooklyn. Hopefully, it won't get towed away soon.

Even though it is a park, it's still parked illegally, so naturally the DOT gave it a ticket.

NY Times Criticizes Brooklyn Writer Using Metaphors About Pricey Manhattan Restaurants

2011-08-17T08:46:00.000-07:00

In one of the weaker take-downs in recent literary history, Dwight Garner of the Times ambivalently reviews "Literary Brooklyn" by Evan Hughes. While praising its collection of quotations by Brooklyn writers, Garner digs on the use of cliches.

"In this book roosts are ruled, towns are painted red, people move in droves, ruckuses are raised, stripes are earned. I hate to sound like a stuffed boar, but these things — like missed notes in a piano recital or bones in the monkfish at Le Bernardin — matter. It was the job of Mr. Hughes’s editor, or his friends, to help him weed out these hobbling bits. They’re close to a deal killer."

It's probably the first time someone criticized trite language with trite language and bragged about where they ate dinner. In Brooklyn it would be like showing up to knife fight with valet ticket from Peter Luger's.

"Planking" Replaced by "Horsemaning" According to Bored British Journalists

2011-08-12T10:11:00.000-07:00

Old Internet Trend: Lying still in imitation of a stiff, lifeless plank

New Internet Trend: Lying still with a friend so you appear headless

The term "horsemaning," often spelled horsemanning, comes from the headless horseman in Washington Irving's The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. Though slightly more creative than planking, horsemaning will surely become ever present on social media sites before the inevitable tragedy.

Amateur Dermatologist Ejected from Fine-Dining Establishment for Self-Practicing

2011-08-11T10:01:00.000-07:00

Owen Lemire Kato, 23, was popping pimples on his back near the entrance to a McDonald's in Cape Coral, Florida. Disgusted patrons complained and the police were called. Kato gave chase and was eventually tackled. Police found a syringe for injecting Oxycontin in his pocket. What does this guy say when his cellmate asks, "What are you in for?"

Lazarus Goes Boogie-Boarding

2011-08-10T14:15:00.000-07:00

Last Friday, Dale Ostrander, age 12, was swept away by a riptide while boogie-boarding off the coast of Washington. Rescuers pulled his lifeless body out of the water 15 minutes later. He was dead for at least 20 minutes before he regained a pulse on the way to the hospital. On Sunday night, he was eased off sedatives and spoke in complete sentences.

Bruno Bar Opening

2011-08-05T10:45:00.000-07:00

The brown paper is off the windows at 520 Henry Street and there is a sign on the door saying they will be open next week. The space is much improved from its previous incarnations: the perpetually renovated Marius Cafe and the often line clogged Everything Bagel. Bruno Bar's immaculate decor features a nice marble bar in the front with dark wood paneling. In the back, there are cozy circular leather booths and bright tiled walls. If nothing else, the owners have atleast acheived a better use of space than their predecessors. We look forward to seeing the menu soon.

Names That Are Illegal to Give Your Child in New Zealand

2011-07-22T08:49:00.000-07:00

1. Lucifer
2. Messiah
3. 89
4. Bishop
5. *;#!
6. General
7. Judge
8. King
9. I
10. C

Three different sets of Kiwi parents tried to name their child Lucifer. Even more befuddling, legal names in New Zealand include Number 16 Bus Shelter, perhaps given in honor of the place where the child was conceived.

"Sopranos" Actor Look-Alike Confesses to Hacking up 8-Year Old

2011-07-15T09:19:00.000-07:00

John Ventimiglia (left) played the weasely restaurant owner Artie Bucco on "Sopranos" and was arrested for real-life DWI and cocaine possession near his Park Slope home several years ago. Levi Aron (right), hardware store clerk, karaoke enthusiast, and aspiring "American Idol" contestant, confessed to picking up an 8-year-old boy in Borough Park, feeding him a tuna sandwich, then smothering him and cutting him into pieces.

Milan Kundera Look-Alike Accused of Raping a Maid and a Novelist

2011-07-08T06:31:00.000-07:00

Milan Kundera (left), Czech-born author of "The Unbearable Lightness of Being," and possible tattletale, resides in France where he has been a citizen since 1981. Dominique Strauss-Kahn (right) is a French economist who resigned as IMF Chief after a maid accused him of sexual assault at the Sofitel hotel in Manhattan. A French novelist later claimed he did the same thing to her 10 years ago.

Link of the Day

2011-07-07T12:21:00.000-07:00

Man falls for the old "meet me at the funeral home naked for a threesome" joke.

Humans Innately Liberal?

2011-07-05T12:19:00.000-07:00

"Through ethnographic and cross-cultural studies, researchers have concluded that the basic template for human social groups is moderately but not unerringly egalitarian," The NY Times reports. Human evolution relied heavily upon cooperative efforts in the development of agriculture. For example, you will never see two chimpanzees lifting a log together. Furthermore, studies show the idea of fairness may be deeply ingrained our psyche.

"In a recent analysis of five hunter-gatherer populations, Eric Aiden Smith of the University of Washington and his colleagues found the average degree of income equality to be roughly half that seen in the United States, and close to the wealth distribution of Denmark."

So the 23% increase in top executives' pay in the U.S., despite worsening financial situations for most regular workers, might mean that Americans are actually de-evolving.

No Fireworks in Brooklyn, But Nice Sunset for July 4th

2011-07-05T08:28:00.000-07:00

Quote of the Day

2011-06-30T13:58:00.000-07:00

"I thought that lady was dead. Did that lady say I did something to her? I have the right to remain silent."

1984 Technology Soon Available in Stores

2011-06-21T09:12:00.000-07:00

During the Opening Ceremony of the 1984 Summer Olympics in Los Angeles, crowds were dazzled by the entrance of Rocketman.

The flight lasted less than 20 seconds and he never rose more than 30 feet above the ground. Still, everyone was assured that they'd be trading in their cars to commute to work via their very own jetpack by the following year.

Now 27 years later, the Martin Aircraft Company has introduced a much-bulkier, gasoline-powered prototype of two giant leaf blowers strapped to an irresponsible man.

The Matin Jetpack will become available to the general public in 2012. It can reach altitudes of 5,000 feet and fly for about 30 minutes. It will set you back somewhere in the neighborhood of $100k, and likely decrease your life expectancy to about a week.

Plane of Future to Have See-Through Cabin, Still No Parachutes

2011-06-14T11:37:00.000-07:00

Airbus unveiled their concept design of a white-knuckle flier's nightmare. The plane of 2050 will serve passengers who prefer gazing at the stars over bringing carry-on baggage.

Civil Servant Marries Dragon in Scotland

2011-06-09T12:42:00.000-07:00

Actually, it's a woman with 7,000 piercings and green paint on her skin, but if you're a civil servant you could do worse. There are scarier pics here.

Millions of Starving Artists Given Compelling Reason for Suicide

2011-06-06T11:20:00.000-07:00

Four-year-old Aelita Andre has had her second show at a Chelsea gallery (her first show was when she was one year old). She has sold $30,000 worth of paintings in what critics call an "accidentalism" style. If only you could forget everything you learned during art school and all those years you spent honing you craft. Then maybe you could splash paint on a canvas like a four-year old.

Flaming Faucets Could Be Coming to Brooklyn

2011-06-01T10:56:00.000-07:00

New York Attorney General Eric T. Schneiderman filed a suit against the federal government to halt the issuing of final rules on the controversial fracking technique until a study is complete. The method of extracting natural gas from the ground uses a ton of chemicals that gas company officials admitted were hazardous in the documentary "Gasland." In numerous cases, wells have transformed nearby residents' sinks into fireplaces.

The Army Corps of Engineers has previously stated that "the federal law requiring an environmental study does not apply to the commission because the regional body is not a federal agency," which is kind of like saying the laws against criminals don't apply to me because I'm not a criminal.

The Delaware River Basin has been called "the Saudi Arabia of natural gas." It also includes part of New York's watershed from which NYC drinking water comes. All they have to do is get some bottled water company to send in its lobbyists in exchange for lucrative contracts and we'll be barbequing in our bathrooms by next year.

Archaeologists of Future to Unearth Evidence That We Were All Sex-Crazed Nature Lovers

2011-06-01T09:05:00.000-07:00

This weekend, volunteers went into the woods of Prospect Park to clean up garbage. "According to the volunteers’ estimates, upward of 2,000 condom wrappers and 600 condoms," were found.

This begs the question: what happened to the other 1,400 condoms that were unwrapped on the premises? Did they deteriorate faster than their packaging? Or did they leave with their users? I'm sure the archaeologists of the future will have some interesting theories?

"Despite the remains of many nearby dwellings," a lecture of the future might begin, "it was common practice in this culture to go into park lands to fornicate. The woods were so crowded, people often intruded upon one another and startled participants fled mid act."

Looking East on Sackett Street at St. Agnes Church on a Winter Morning

2011-05-31T19:40:00.000-07:00

Filming in Carroll Gardens/Cobble Hill

2011-05-28T12:15:00.000-07:00

Unless your car is over 30 years old, don't bother looking for a parking spot on Court Street this Memorial Day weekend. They are filming a scene for Men in Black III that flashes back to the 1970s.

They have swapped out the street signs and even installed a fake subway entrance for the old Independent Subway System, which never ran on this part of Court Street but did go to Brooklyn Heights.

The millions of dollars worth of props and overtime for the holiday weekend shoot will probably result in 30-second clip of Will Smith chasing an alien down Court Street.

Blogger Attempts to Coin Term "Dude-itors" and Fails Miserably

2011-05-18T10:54:00.000-07:00

Either they ran out of fluff entirely at WWDmedia or John Koblin has a mighty big mancrush on these guys:

"Just a night of dudes being dudes, bros being bros, but there’s a lot of this going around Manhattan media these days. In fact, you don’t have to look farther than the youngish, vaguely athletic, literate and street-jargoned top editors at The New York Times Magazine, Bon Appétit and Bloomberg BusinessWeek. They’re dudes; they’re editors. Ladies and dudes, meet the Dude-itors."

Cancer Cure Not Profitable Enough to Approve

2011-05-18T09:42:00.000-07:00

A simple, cheap chemical called dichloroacetate (DHC) has showed promising results in killing most types of cancer cells by disrupting the way they process sugar. The chemical is too widely used to patent, therefore no major pharmaceutical company is willing front the $500+ million investment needed for clinical trials.

We've reached the point where the progress of modern medicine and capitalism are at odds. Fortunately, the treatment is available in Canada. We'll just have to wait until some of our billionaires get cancer before it is explored in the US.

Jersey-Loving Macy's to Snub Brooklyn/Queens Again

2011-05-16T11:13:00.000-07:00

Brooklyn and Queens residents are urged to boycott all Macy's clothing stores after they announced the annual fireworks show will be held on the Hudson River once again, giving New Jersey and West Side Manhattanites the best view. Though their flagship store is located in New York City, they've clearly decided that residents of the blue collar boroughs can blow their own fingers off with homemade celebrations for all they care. The annual display was moved from it's traditional location on the East River in 2009 to celebrate the 400th anniversary of Henry Hudson's exploration of the Hudson River. After his discovery, Hudson wanted to continue West. He was mutinied by his crew, set adrift and never seen again.

Youths Mimic Stiff Board for Internet Fame

2011-05-16T08:19:00.000-07:00

In what may very well be looked back upon on as the breakdancing of the twenty-tens, kids with probably no other creative outlet have made a hobby of lying still with their face to the floor in odd places. "Planking" started in either Australia or England, depending on who you believe, and has grown into a worldwide phenomenon. It has already claimed the life of one twenty-something who fell off a balcony in Brisbane during a pose, and is sure to kills hundreds of other morons before it is replaced by another, perhaps even more puzzling, craze. The first Annual Global Planking Day is May 21, so don't be alarmed if you wake to see kids in tights jeans lying deathly still on the street. It's not a nerve gas attack. It's what you would be doing if you were 20 years younger. Then again, Global Planking Day coincides with another event, so those kids might not be just planking after all.

Not So Uplifting Links

2011-05-05T10:36:00.000-07:00

Homeless Robinhood Strikes in Tampa

2011-04-29T11:13:00.000-07:00

After relieving the dreaded king of Wachovia of his riches, he mounted his trusty steed, the HARTline public transit bus, whereupon he gave the good people of Tampa their share of the bounty. The Merry Men were not with him. Perhaps they remained at the Sherwood shelter.

Recession Continues, 8-Year Old Only Gets $3 for 9-mm Handgun

2011-04-29T10:09:00.000-07:00

"How was school today?" asked a mother in Flushing, Queens.

"Look at the deal I got on this gun," replied her 8-year-old son.

The young arms dealer who sold him the gun and his 56-year old father were both charged with criminal weapons possesion, and now everyone has a "remember-that-time" story for the ages.

Christ Has Risen!

2011-04-22T21:11:00.000-07:00

Bartender Plays Ping Pong for Teeth

2011-04-20T13:28:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, April 15, Jamie, the bartender at B61 on Columbia Street, will be playing ping pong for 15 straight hours to raise money for new teeth, replacements for ones lost when he was hit by a drunk driver. You can sponsor him by the hour or pay to play him. He needs to raise $35K. There is also a paypal account set up.

B61 (below Alma restaurant)
187 Columbia Street (corner of Degraw St.), Brooklyn, NY

Laughable Links

2011-04-11T11:43:00.000-07:00

Athiests now have a bible. It's all downhill from here.

At Applebee's, it's possible to get tequila shots for the cost of apple juice.
Schoolboy expelled for Mangum P.I.-itis.

Writer Sends Rejection Letters to Literary Agents

2011-04-06T11:16:00.000-07:00

One of our readers, fed up with receiving form rejection letters from literary agents, has taken to sending his own rejection letters to the agents:
------------------------------------------
RECEIVED:
Dear Writer,
Thank you so much for writing me about your project. I read and consider each query carefully and, while yours is not exactly what I am looking for, I would certainly encourage you to keep trying. I know your work is important to you and I am grateful that you wrote to me.
All best,
[redacted]

------------------------------------------
RESPONSE:
Dear Agent,
Thank you for sending me your standard response and, while I appreciate your ability to copy and paste, your form letter is not what I am looking for in the way of feedback. It may seem sincere to you, and I would certainly encourage you to keep sending it to other writers, but I cannot accept it at this time.
Best,
Writer
------------------------------------------
We spoke with the writer about his reasons for counter-rejecting those who have rejected him, and he had this to say:

"I kind of feel like the agents are all sitting on their cookbooks and vampire novels and nobody's taking on new clients. They probably read queries looking for an excuse to reject them instead of with an ear for what might be good. If you've got anything quirky in your pitch, you don't stand a chance. Self publishing is sure to push them out of the picture eventually. In the meantime, I feel it's only right to bring them down to earth a little and give them a dose of their own medicine. Maybe it's childish, but it gives me a laugh. You can't take yourself too seriously. That's the only way to make it through all the rejection and keep writing at the same time."

We applaud the writer's coping technique and have adopted it by preemptively rejecting all possible bearers of bad news, from mortgage brokers to members of the opposite sex. And if the deli on 2nd Avenue that was out of chicken noodle soup this afternoon is reading this, we reject YOU.

Columbia Waterfront District is the Chelsea of Brooklyn

2011-03-31T08:56:00.000-07:00

According to the Brooklyn Paper, census data reveal that the 2 block by 10 block neighborhood bordering Carroll Gardens, Cobble Hill and Red Hook has beat out Park Slope with more same-sex couple households per capita. Of the reported 549 households, the census data claim that 11% are same-sex couple households (more than areas of Chelsea that top out at 10%). Of course, the data does not report single gay and lesbian occupants, which Chelsea would surely have more of.

It should also be noted that the area on the census map does not include the blocks between Degraw St. and the Brooklyn Battery Tunnel, which is part of the Columbia Waterfront District. This area is listed as having an additional 964 households with 0% same-sex couple households. There is an error in the data though, or at least an inaccuracy in reporting, because there are at least three same-sex couples on Union Street between Columbia and Van Brunt alone.

Inaccuracies aside, the writing is on the wall. More fabulous restaurants and boutiques will come and properties values will soar. At least until the sea level rises another 4 meters and puts the whole area underwater. But if you have no children to leave your property to, it's a great place to buy.

People Move Pianos in the Middle of the Night by Subway

2011-03-29T15:28:00.000-07:00

I had to work late on Monday night and didn't get out of the office till just after 1 am. While I was waiting for the F train to take me back to Brooklyn, a D train pulled into the station. A man quickly jumped out, tossed some dollies on the platform, then grabbed the end off this stand-up piano and wedged it in the door so it wouldn't close on him. His friend came out of another door with another dollie and ran over to help. Within seconds, they had this piano sitting on the 34th street subway platform. Some transit workers were standing nearby, watching them warily. One of the movers played a little ditty on it and said, "See, just a piano," with a playful smile, presumably to show it was not a 2-ton bomb. As they ran to look for an elevator, I was all alone with it and snapped this picture, never fathoming that I would see such a thing in my life. The guy came back and I asked him how he got it down into the subway. He said by elevator, but that he had to carry it up another flight of steps at a different station. I didn't get into the logistics with him of how many trains he had to transfer and from what borough it was transported. I gathered that it was a free piano and he didn't have the money to rent a van, but he was enough of a music lover to lug it home the most economical way possible. Also, I don't usually work till 1 am and conceded that it's quite possible people move pianos by subway all the time late at night.

Carpe Depression!

2011-03-15T10:17:00.000-07:00

Contrary to Horace's maxim "carpe diem," or seize the day, researchers from some stuffy university have found that the pursuit of "hedonic well-being" is not conducive to overall physical health and longevity, but rather living with a sense of purpose, raising children and doing things that are generally annoying may lead to an increased lifespan and better mental health.

It's your classic quantity vs. quality argument. Sure, scrooge may have outlived Don Juan, but who would you rather hang out with at a party?

The results were released just in time for St. Paddy's day when millions of parents will neglect their children and spouses to don "kiss me I'm Irish" t-shirts and get sauced enough to forget their familial obligations so they can carry on for another year.

Links

2011-03-08T12:29:00.000-08:00

National Geographic Uses Computer to Determine All Chinese Look the Same

2011-03-04T09:15:00.001-08:00

According to some fancy computer program, that is allegedly not powered by Archie Bunker's brain, the most common face in the world is that of a 28-year-old Hun Chinese man.

The typical man is also right-handed, Christian, speaks Mandarin, lives in a city, holds a service job, and presumably reads Charlie Sheen's tweets.

Immortal Dogs or Faulty Euthanasia Practices?

2011-03-02T08:49:00.000-08:00

Another dog has survived euthanasia, this time a sick puppy in Oklahama. He was found in a dumspter the next day in perfect health. This after a Michigan Rottweiler with spinal problems was unfazed by a lethal injection in October. Before that in Indiana, where 5 dogs are reported to have dodged death, one hound managed to survive 4 days in a freezer after being gassed. In all cases, the dogs became local heros and the shelters were flooded with calls from people wanting to give them new homes, which makes us wonder if the shelters are just making up these stories to inspire people to adopt, or has man's best friend and the most successful panhandler on the planet finally evolved beyond us? At least someone saw this coming.

Michael Scott's Mentor Dies at 102

2011-02-24T09:56:00.000-08:00

Horace "Hotplate" Wells of Lenoir County, North Carolina, was a local legend who claimed to have invented the hush puppy. During his storied life, his occupations included male Rockette dancer, piranha farmer, prison guard, executioner and, in the later years, notorious nurse butt pincher. Perhaps his greatest contribution to humanity though was coining the phrase "that's what she said."

Vegas Taking Bets on Which Dictator Will Fall Next

2011-02-22T13:26:00.000-08:00

Muammar Gaddafi of Libya

Ali Abdullah Saleh of Yemen

Alexander Lukashenko of Belarus

Abdelaziz Bouteflika of Algeria

Ali Abdullah Saleh of Yeman had the best odds at 4 to 1 until recent events.

Not So Reassuring Links

2011-02-22T08:28:00.000-08:00

Latvian Lawyer shoots man for telling him to stop chewing popcorn loudly during Black Swan; waits till after lesbian scene.
Trashy chicks in Denny's brawl after one asks to pass the maple syrup. "Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me," other replies.
Kadafi best dressed dictator of all time.
No more Italians in Little Italy; only 6% Italian American and none Italian born.

Wife Agrees to Have Sex with Husband Every Day for a Year... In Exchange for Book Deal

2011-02-18T12:40:00.001-08:00

Charla Muller wanted to give her husband something special for his 40th birthday, so she promised to have sex with him every day for an entire year. How did she bear this gruesome task? Well, you'll just have to read the book to find out.

Perhaps Julia Roberts and Richard Gere will team up again to play this couple in the movie version.

Germans Stuff Girl in Box to Feign Modern Technology

2011-02-14T14:09:00.000-08:00

Actually, it's a marketing campaign, "life's too short for the wrong job," for the career services website jobsintown.de.

Drunken Invincible Man Shrugs off Train Collision

2011-02-09T15:42:00.000-08:00

In Saskatoon, Phoenix, a witness saw an intoxicated 29-year-old man get hit by a train, causing him to fly through the air, then get up and simply walk away. Police found the man several blocks away, unaware of what had happened but indicating pains in several parts of his body. An ambulence brought him to the hospital where he was treated for non-life threatening injuries. No word on whether he proceeded to fly around the planet in a counter-clockwise direction to reverse the flow of time and bring back his dead girlfriend. Presumably, it will be difficult to convince the man to curb his drinking for health reasons. Patrons of his local bar are probably already cringing at the thought of how often they are gonna have to hear, "Oh, you think that's bad? Did I ever tell about the time I got hit by a train?"

Most Interesting Man in the World Died

2011-01-28T08:59:00.001-08:00

Accomplishments included:

-Crossing the Atlantic on a barge made of garbage

-Frontman for traveling band Flying Neutrinos

-Former Vietnam War correspondent

-Enrolled in a seminary

-Spent time with Allen Ginsberg

-Founded the "first church in the world that didn't know the way"

-Lived in a raft moored off Lower Manhattan

-Founded a political party based on eye contact, courtesy and due process

-Professional preacher, gambler and sign painter

William Pearlman (aka Poppa Neutrino), 77, died with $4.44 in his pocket, a novel in the works and plans to sail to Cuba, then perhaps to India to rescue orphaned street children.

Mexicans Use Advanced Technology to Sneak Medicinal Herbs into Puritan Country with Archaic Drug Laws

2011-01-27T10:14:00.000-08:00

The border patrol police, perhaps with the aid of the Sheriff of Nottingham, foiled drug smugglers' plan to catapult 4-pound packages of marijuana across the Arizona-Mexico border.

A remote video surveillance system captured the perpertators loading the medieval device. Isn't that like bringing a laser to a knife fight?

Mexican officials were alerted and recovered 35 pounds of marijuana. The Band of Merry Men evaded capture.

In the Future Rich People to Sleep in Hand of God

2011-01-26T20:40:00.000-08:00

A Greek architect, who probably masturbates too much and has an obsession with hands, rendered a house on a serving tray as a portrait of LA's "infrastructural crisis, impending disaster and celebrity paranoia."

If this is what rich people's houses are going to look like, I wonder what poor people's houses will look like, otherwise known as the asshole of God.

Fun Facts

2011-01-25T09:07:00.000-08:00

The digital funeral has arrived. Password-protected services available.

Washington state is the US capital of bestiality.

It is possible to get kicked off facebook for having the same name as a celebrity. Also British people use the word "gobsmacked."
Ex-wrestler thinks crotch-grabbing body slams ok, but pat-downs too far.

Lord Shani to Guard Bank With No Locks in Doorless Town

2011-01-18T09:56:00.000-08:00

The first bank with no locks on its doors has opened in the small village of Shani Shinganapur in the Ahmednagar district of India. The village is presided over by the Hindu celestial being Shani, the Lord of Saturday, who is known for inflicting harm on thiefs and betrayors. Although there are no doors on the houses, there has not been a theft or robbery in the village in the recent past. Apparently, residents and pilgrimagers are fearful of envoking the wraith of a four-armed man riding a golden crow while wielding a septor and a flower. The deity may have been successful in protecting trinkets and clothing, but let's see if his influence holds up against the lure of cold hard cash.

Man Tattoos Halloween Costume on Face to Wear Year Round

2011-01-13T08:10:00.000-08:00

In an article about pushing boundaries, Cathy Horyn of the Times begins by gloating about how her real estate investor friend and his doctor wife are raising children in Connecticut without a television.

Then she reports about how fashion designers are pushing the envelope by using transgender models and albinos in their shows.

Another loosly related example of this zeigeist to revolt against dullness is Nicola Formichetti. He has been photgraphing Rick Genest (aka Zombie Boy), whom he found on Facebook. Formichetti, who styles Lady Gaga, declares Zombie Boy to be his muse.

So will people be more likely to buy an article of clothing because it looks flattering on a dead person?

The article reads more like a list of who the reporter ran into that week and ends with the all important question of whether children of the future will take pills to make their flesh blue. Of course they will. The real question is how it will affect racism.

House of God Trespassed by Horny, Penny-Stealing Burger Lover with No Internet Connection at Home

2011-01-11T08:27:00.000-08:00

The New Creation Church in Montgomery County, Maryland was burglarized this weekend. The culprit defrosted and ate a hamburger, looked at some pornography on the church computer, which was left on the screen, then took 40,000 pennies that had been collected for a children's charity.

"People just don't have the same respect for churches that they used to," said pastor Ella Redfield.

The church has been burglarized 3 times in the past year. Not only are the intruders not fearful of the wraith of God, but apparently they don't think much of their local police force as they were in no hurry to flee the premises. It takes a while to defrost a burger, and how horny do you have to be to rub one out in a church?

Sad and Disgusting Links

2011-01-06T11:03:00.000-08:00

Body of Christ/Hep A

2011-01-04T10:38:00.000-08:00

Churchgoers at Our Lady of Lourdes Church in Massapequa were given an extra treat during communion this Sunday. The wafers, which were transubstantiated into the actual body of Christ, were infected with hepatitis A. This spurs endless questions of about vaccinations in heaven. Also, if the son of god can cause flu-like symptoms, nausea, and the runs, then what chance do we have of staying healthy this winter?

Best Digital Fiction of the Year

2010-12-25T11:44:00.001-08:00

THE JESUS FISH AND SLAUGHTER BIRD by Clark Casey, available here on Kindle, iPads, and mobile devices from No DEAD TREES Press (also on desktops computers with the free Kindle viewing app). 60 pages, $2.99

An epic novella about four twenty-something lost souls who meet in a bar in Manhattan in the early 1980s. The rollicking narrative follows them for 20 years of their turbulent (and often funny) lives into the turn of the century. The cast includes an aspiring musician/artist and hypochondriac desperately trying to rid himself of his native Queens accent, a racist pool hustler who falls for a Chinese girl, a well-endowed shy girl in search of true love, and a pretty girl with abandonment issues and a dream of becoming a “florologist.” A comedic tour de force by an up-and-coming satirist. Casey’s quick-flowing and punchy prose captures the absurdity of a generation.

Beer Baron Strikes Again

2010-12-24T06:53:00.000-08:00

A second young woman has died in the company of former Anheuser-Busch Chief Executive August Busch IV. Adrienne N. Martin, 27-year-old art therapist and aspiring model, was found dead of an apparent overdose in Busch's St. Louis home. Busch, 46, had been dating Martin for a year after his divorce in 2009.

In 1983, Busch picked up a 22-year-old University of Arizona student at a bar. His corvette crashed and she died at the scene. Busch was found in his home hours later, stunned and bloodied with a then legal blood alcohol level. He claimed amnesia and no charges were filed.

The Gentrification of Brooklyn

2010-12-16T08:15:00.001-08:00

The New York Times reports that "the share of white residents rose sharply in brownstone Brooklyn neighborhoods like Prospect Heights (to 45% from 28% in 2000) and Fort Greene (to 26% from 14%), as well as Williamsburg."

The neighborhoods of Prospect Heights, Clinton Hill and Fort Greene saw double-digit decreases in black people. With all the new shiny condo construction in Williamsburg, the Hispanic population decreased from 40% to 30%.

In their nifty color-coated interactive map of the Census Bureau's data, it appears that whites live in Manhattan and part of Brooklyn, blacks live in the rest of Brooklyn, Hispanics live in the Bronx, and Queens is the melting pot of everyone who wandered away from the airports.

Where They Are Now Links

2010-12-14T12:37:00.000-08:00

Gay plague cured 30 years later, Magic never worried

Politicians richest people in country; Native Americans (who they took it from 200 years ago) the poorest

Twisted Sister singer commutes 3 hours a day for low-paying theater gig to avoid admin work

When You Put It That Way, It's Completely Logical

2010-12-09T07:28:00.001-08:00

Intelligent people are more likely to binge drink.

Cleanliness is linked to depression.

Therefore, sloppy drunks should be smart and happy people.

Batshit Woman of the Year

2010-12-08T08:25:00.001-08:00

Charges: intentional disfigurement or mutilation

Sequence of events:

1. While sitting on the toilet, she kissed her husband goodnight.

2. In a fit of mania, she grabbed him by the testicles and bit into his his tongue, partially severing it.

3. When police arrived, she was "carrying a New Year’s horn in her hand and singing Christmas carols.”

4. She blew the horn in the officers' ears and then threw coffee on them.

5. She did not speak during her court appearance, but on the way out leaned over to a reporter and said, “I love you, it’s too bad you don’t listen.”

Bet that reporter wishes he had been assigned to cover the dog show instead.

Lascivious Links

2010-12-06T08:51:00.000-08:00

New York Times reporter has whiny overachiever friends who date lazy men in Europe.

Courts now paying for male criminals' makeup. Dress and pumps stipends coming soon.

Old British ladies just as slutty as young British ladies, but more likely to give you the clap.

Old American men complain about lack of sex just like young men. They should move to England.

Blogposts About the Most Searched Internet Terms More Likely to Turn Up in Internet Searches

2010-12-01T08:00:00.000-08:00

Yahoo's list of most searched terms of 2010 reveals a lot about us. For instance, we like soccer, natural disasters, girls who can sing and have big butts, and boys who can sing and look like girls.

1. The Gulf of Mexico oil disaster
2. The World Cup soccer tournament
3. Pop singer Miley Cyrus
4. Reality TV star Kim Kardashian
5. Singer Lady Gaga
6. Apple's iPhone
7. Actress Megan Fox
8. Singer Justin Bieber
9. "American Idol"
10. Singer Britney Spears

These lists may some day provide our ancestors with insight into the 21st century mind. If there had been an internet 100 years ago (instead of boring old encyclopedias), what might the most searched terms have been?

1. Halley's comet, end of earth

2. Wright brothers first commercial flight

3. Jack Johnson (first black boxer to win the title, sparked race riots)

4. Irving Berlin

5. Where to buy a model T Ford or horseless carriage

6. jobs available at Triangle Shirtwaist Factory

7. How to book tickets on the Titanic

The rest of the searches would likely be the names of popular Ziegfeld dancers.

Greek Man Proves Modern Science Riddled With Errors/Probably Won't Extend Life

2010-11-21T09:41:00.000-08:00

An article in The Atlantic reports on Dr. John Ioannidis's attempts to meta-analyze clinical trial results. He found that 80% of non-randomized trials, 25% of gold-standard randomized trials, and 25% of platinum-standard trials are simply wrong. Even more alarming is the medical community's tendency to cite these trials long after they are proven wrong.

Results are often tainted by pharmaceutical companies' data manipulation, grant-seeking researchers' need to publish sensational findings, and a flawed peer review process.

"That we're not routinely made seriously ill by this shortfall," he argues, "is due largely to the fact that most medical interventions and advice don't address life-and-death situations, but rather aim to leave us marginally healthier or less unhealthy, so we usually neither gain nor risk all that much."

"Science is a noble endeavor but it's a low yield endeavor," he says. "I'm not sure that more than a very small percentage of medical research is ever likely to lead to major improvements in clinical outcomes and quality of life. We should be very comfortable with this fact."

That said, we are still not snubbing our noses at Zanax on long flights and heart surgery if the need arises.

Who did this guy blow?

2010-11-11T10:47:00.000-08:00

When we moved to Brooklyn, we didn't get so much as a fruit basket. But if you're a Manhattan literary agent and you cross the river, it's suddenly a trend that the Times must cover. Just ask the guy if he'll be taking on any new Brooklyn writers or if he'll still be hawking the same cookbooks and journalists' crime mysteries that he was pushing in Manhattan.

Phil Collins Can't Play Drums/Wipe Own Ass Anymore

2010-11-10T10:22:00.000-08:00

The "easy lover" of the 80s and reclusive thrice-divorced populizer of the widow's peak gave a rare interview from his home in Switzerland. A back injury has left him unable to play the drums or wipe his own bum, but Collins fills his time caring for his sons, contemplating suicide, and looking over pictures of aliens that he took in Texas.

"I sometimes think I'm going to write this Phil Collins character out of the story," the singer cryptically remarked. "Phil Collins will just disappear or be murdered in some hotel bedroom, and people will say, 'What happened to Phil?' And the answer will be, 'He got murdered, but, yeah, anyway, let's carry on.' That kind of thing."

"I wouldn't blow my head off," he says later. "I'd overdose or do something that didn't hurt. But I wouldn't do that to the children. A comedian who committed suicide in the sixties left a note saying,'Too many things went wrong too often.' I often think about that."

Good to know the composer of some of the most popular wedding songs of the 80s is still continuing to spread joy to the world.

Tasteful, Arty Titty Show at Sugar Lounge

2010-11-07T06:22:00.000-08:00

The Sugar Lounge at 47 Columbia Street is now hosting burlesque nights the first Saturday of every month. Their second show last night was hosted by a Sarah Palin look-a-like gearing up for the campaign trail in "oh twelve." The show featured the kind of talented, arty, naked women that men are allowed to gawk at without getting in trouble with their girlfriends, including a flaming hula hoop dancer.

After the show, amateur voyeurs are welcome to come up on stage and do awkward karaoke-strip dancing. There is no cover charge so expect the requisite amount of horny men too cheap to go to a strip club, nursing beers while glaring at pasty-covered cleavage.

Since the Slipper Room closed for major renovation in June, dancers have been left scouring the city in search of regular gigs and often taking it on the road. Last night's troupe was previously booked then cancelled at Building on Bond. Perhaps the Boerum Hill mommy patrons found it too smutty.

Hopefully, they've found a new long-term home on the Columbia Waterfront District—though with the new über playground down the street, we wouldn't be surprised if some Giuliani-era zoning law made it illegal to show flaming boobies within a quarter mile of Brooklyn's golden children. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Grandchildren May Die of Mortification/Envy of Swinging Grandma

2010-11-03T11:16:00.000-07:00

Carol Bone, a 62-year-old grandmother, claims to have banged 200 men in the past 2 years, despite arthritis and back pain. After splitting up with her long-term partner, she joined 13 different dating websites. She prefers her partners to be "in their 30s or 40s, and she also likes sex parties and meeting couples." She has no interest in anything more than a casual relationship and often kicks her studs out of bed after she's through. None of her partners could be reached for comment. Click through for a picture. Warning: may lose libido.

Dubious Health-Related Links

2010-10-28T10:43:00.000-07:00

Blah blah blah... woman talk more... blah blah blah... are happier

Man eats/shits over $300,000 for $225

Be famous and travel the world, after you die

How to Destroy a Nation by ExxonMobil

2010-10-26T09:29:00.001-07:00

"All the money is now gone," Chief Matipe said of the $120,000 he received for a piece of land to be developed for the exportation of natural gas from Papau New Guinea. "But I'm very happy about the company, ExxonMobil. Before I had nothing. But because of the money, I was able to buy pigs and get married again." Chief Matipe was able to use the pigs as a dowry to secure a 15-year-old bride to add to the 10 other wives he already has. In celebration he purchased 30 cases of beer for $800. So in addition to Guns, Germs, and Steel, they are now using overpriced beer to conquer the indigenous population.

Baker Illequipped for life of Affluence and Full-Time Alcoholism Dies Without Shit-Eating Grin and Muffin-Headed Wife

2010-10-25T09:11:00.001-07:00

Keith Gough, 58, of Bridgnorth, England was a popular baker who only drank wine with meals until he won 9 million Euros in the lottery. He bought the prerequisite luxury automobiles, horses and homes, then went on the familiar path of drinking out of boredom. He died of a heart attack brought on by excessive drinking and stress, and no doubt paranoia after being swindled out of 700,00 Euros by financial hucksters. He separated from his wife of 27 years just 2 years after winning the lottery. The father of two left behind an estate of 780,000 Euros. In the end, he longed for his old life when he simply had to watch yeast rise all day, telling reporters last year, "When I see someone going in to a newsagent, I advise them not to buy a lottery ticket."

Parisians Destroy Paris to Avoid Working 2 years Longer if System Survives

2010-10-19T08:06:00.000-07:00

The Americans barely offered an argument when their retirement age went from 65 to 67. The Germans merely shrugged when theirs went to 67, but naturally the French threw a shit fit when President Sarkozy proposed extending France's retirement age from 60 to 62. With a dimishing number of young people entering the workforce and people living longer, counties can no longer support their workers at a decent retirement age, which has millions of French people asking the question: is it worth it to live longer if you have to work to the grave? The untold cost of the stike, may eventually exceed the savings of a retirement age extension, but perhaps more is at stake. Is this just a stepping stone to the inevitable 70-year-old retirement age? And when stem cell research cures us of our diseases, can we expect to work until our 100th birthdays. What happened to the promises of the 1950s? Where's the shorter work week and the increased leisure time? Weren't robots supposed to be doing most of the labor by now? Where did all the excesss go? Oh yeah, I remember now.

Who Had the Most to Gain From the BP Oil Spill?

2010-10-18T08:37:00.000-07:00

Halliburton's stock reached a 2-year high last week and third quarter net income rose to $544 million from $262 million a year earlier. Their North American profits were bolstered by an increase in on-shore oil drilling. Halliberton is one of the largest providers of pressure pumping in North America, a technique used in on-shore drilling. Since the April 20 explosion and ensuing leak in a off-shore BP oil well in the gulf of Mexico, companies have been seeking alternatives to off-shore drilling. Coincidentally enough, Halliburton happened to provide cementing services on the well that BP was drilling, which later exploded to become one of the worst ecological disasters of all time. Rule of thumb: whenever something bad happens, it won't be long before Halliburton's profits rise. So as soon as the bombs start going off put in a buy order for their stock, particularly if you are a woman and have hopes of retirement.

Sociological Links of Little Import

2010-10-13T12:36:00.000-07:00

US Hispanics live 8 years longer than whites or blacks, or maybe they just go home to their native countries to die.

Retired people suffer more memory loss, or perhaps people with memory loss are just more likely to retire.

French mothers have the best deal in the world as long as they stay skinny and feed their chauvinist husbands who are probably cheating on them.