Thursday, September 30, 2010

France's Most Famous Writer Inspired By Ugliness/Lack of Sex



In an interview in the newly relaunched Paris Review, Micheal Houellebecq ellaborates on the inspiration for his critically exclaimed debut novel, Whatever, about a sexually frustrated computer programmer.

"I hadn’t seen any novel make the statement that entering the workforce was like entering the grave. That from then on, nothing happens and you have to pretend to be interested in your work. And, furthermore, that some people have a sex life and others don’t just because some are more attractive than others. I wanted to acknowledge that if people don’t have a sex life, it’s not for some moral reason, it’s just because they’re ugly. Once you’ve said it, it sounds obvious, but I wanted to say it."


The divisively blunt writer and twice divorced father, now on the outs with the French media and living in Ireland for tax purposes, also expounds on his romantic notions of fatherhood.

"Yes. There is some kind of physiological and psychological change in a woman when she gets pregnant. It’s animal biology. But fathers don’t give a shit about their offspring. Hormonal things occur, things that no culture can do anything about, that generally make women like children and men basically not give a damn."

Monday, September 13, 2010

Man Murdered for Masturbating; Porn Stashes Around the World Relocated

A 32-year-old Brooklyn woman found a porn video in the DVD-player and reached for the scissors. Her husband reached for a kitchen knife to defend himself. Of course, he was no match for her wraith.

Perhaps this unfortunate incident will inspire educational programs so that future generations will not have to endure the bloodshed and bigotry against the more visually oriented gender. Is it not enough that they suffer more car accidents as a result of their affliction?

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Philistines Taunt Homeless With New Definition of Art




Dropping the pretense of collecting art for investment purposes, two French gallery owners are offering high-end pied-à-terres instead of paintings. Philippe Menager and Nicolas Hug closed their gallery and declared that they would sell apartments as "works of art," because it would be too low-brow to just call themselves real estate agents.


"We sell everything that is out-of-the-ordinary to people who often don't need an apartment, but who want the enjoyment of having something special — a balcony, a garden, or a historical location — or who are true apartment collectors. They have one in New York, one in London, all the great international capitals."

When asked for a comment on the recent movement in the art/real estate world, a homeless panhandler in SoHo said, "Food... Need fooood."